Sognefjord stretches 127 miles from the ocean into Norway’s western coast and at its deepest point reaches nearly 4,300 feet below sea level. It is the largest of the Scandinavian country’s more than 1,000 fjords and is known, understandably, as the “King of Fjords.”
It is enormous, epic, magisterial—though I cannot confirm that with a first hand account because I have never seen it in person. What I can do is picture its steep, jagged cliffs stopping at the glass-like surface of the water, which reflects the image of this beautiful landscape back at any who dares to look down on a sunny day. Sognefjord appears as if it were carved into the Earth by some unknowable force for some magnificent purpose just beyond our comprehension.
I also cannot verify if the colossal Norwegian forwards Erling Braut Haaland, Alexander Sørloth, and Jørgen Strand Larsen formed Sognefjord. It is, I think, possible. With their collective skill, size and mythical abilities, they could conceivably cut into the Earth’s crust in the same way that they devastate opposing defenses for their clubs and especially for their country’s national team.
How did Norway come to possess these three immense physical specimens? One explanation is simply that Norway itself is massive and mythic.
This trio of forwards all stand over six feet four inches and we live in a world in which they could play together, in a single, immense forward line at the 2026 World Cup. How did Norway come to possess these three immense physical specimens? One explanation is simply that Norway itself is massive and mythic: These three epic heroes emerged at precisely the same time to terrorize defenses with not only their size, but also their pace and ability to hit the ball with the force of Thor’s hammer. Or, maybe, more simply put, it was bound to happen in the same way we were destined to get a Disney movie about a pair of Norwegian princesses that would take over every young person’s imagination for years. Life, as they say, is cyclical, and it could be the time for the Vikings to venture far from their homeland to rule again.
Norway is home of Thor and his hammer, and in recent times, you are more likely to associate it with the world’s greatest cross country skier, its unique brand of death metal, trolls, Karl Ove Knausgård, Henrik Ibsen, or Edvard Munch. Now, though, it has something even more remarkable: Three monsters who all specialize, albeit to differing degrees, in the most valuable thing in the sport that has come to rule the world. And, despite their similar size, these three giants aren’t the old-school center-forwards of the past. They’re brutes with poetic feet, descendants of Odin. More modestly, they’re what England dreamt Andy Carroll could have been.
Of the trio, Haaland stands alone—the only one who truly belongs in a pantheon that includes such figures as Odin and Ibsen. He is an epic hero, a player whose substantial flaws—he is not a particularly strong one-on-one player or, for that matter, a great technician—simply do not matter because of what he does well. And what he does well is simple: Erling Braut Haaland scores goals. Watch him drift between two defenders, facing play and then swivel his hips just as the ball is played in the space behind; no matter how little room there is, he gets to the ball before anyone, pouncing on it like a lynx, pulverizing into the net with the force of a lightning bolt. Watch the 25-year-old Haaland — born after Y2K — score any one of his 55 goals for Norway in 48 international matches in six years and only magic can rationalize what you see. He scored 16 goals in 8 World Cups Cup qualifying matches in 2026 alone.
These three giants aren’t the old-school center-forwards of the past. They’re brutes with poetic feet, descendants of Odin.
If a perfect specimen were ever created to play forward, Michelangelo could not have sculpted it better. Indeed, Haaland looks like he was cut from stone: his body is all sharp angles, his impenetrable chest and that square forehead designed to head a ball with force into the back of the net. Watch him pull his hair back into his now omnipresent pony-tail, look at his large hands wiping his shiny blonde hair, and see his wide pouty lips and you will wonder: How can such a person exist? If he is striking to look at, he certainly isn’t a dreamboat like Beckham or Thierry Henry. His personal style matches how he plays: an unmistakable force built to move boulders. Once we saw him running in behind defenses for RB Salzburg as a teenager, we knew: nothing can stop him. By the time Pep Guardiola got his hands on him at Manchester City in 2022, the world had no choice but to bow down to his power. He proceeded to score 100 goals in the Premier League faster than Mo Salah, Thierry Henry, Alan Shearer, and Harry Kane—faster, in fact, than anyone before him.
Sørloth and Larsen, by contrast with the meteoric Haaland, have taken their time to find their place; remarkable giants in their own lesser way, complementary to their leader. They’ve had stops and starts to their careers, and needed chances to be seen—and therefore understood—as something more than traditional “target man” center forwards.
While tall, and lanky, Sørloth is the smoothest operator of the three. His perfectly coiffed hair and strong, dimpled chin makes him look like he lives in front of the Marvel universe’s green screen instead of as the technician he is on the field—finding space, bringing teammates into play, and scoring net-bursting goals. While it took a move to Villarreal in 2023 for Sørloth to get going—to be allowed to drop into midfield, to turn and face defenders, take them on with the ball at his feet, and to lash goals with his left-foot, which, despite being as long as a canoe paddle, moves with the speed of a European adder defending itself in the wild and with the force of a locomotive—he has now become the giant of the Metropolitano Stadium in Madrid. He’s the perfect forward for Diego Simeone and Atletico Madrid because he bounces off of defenders, runs the channels and plays as if there is no tomorrow. And he’s the perfect foil for Haaland for Norway because of how he can drop deep and control play with his feet and onfield awareness, understanding where his teammates are and how best to get them the ball to break an opposition defense. His size makes you think he’s Peter Crouch at Stoke City when he’s really Peter Crouch at Liverpool, a dynamic forward who connects as much as he scores, something he still does better than Crouch ever could.
Similarly, when Strand Larsen runs he should look like a giraffe lumbering around, but, instead more closely resembles a lone gazelle sprinting away from the pack, graceful and strong in each stride. Playing in an overmatched and confused Wolverhampton Wanderers side, Strand Larsen stood out because he linked play and worked for the team even as results and chances didn’t go his way. His layoffs and touches opened the field for teammates who couldn’t often make anything with what he left them, let alone return a pass as he stretched the field. If only they had, because he too possesses a dynamic left-foot that can break a goalkeeper’s will. It’s early days at Crystal Palace—Strand Larsen joined the team in February—but the London club have already seen the giant’s potential to create and score, to devastate defenses.
But, can three enormous strikers win a World Cup? Norway’s trio can destroy defenses with their technical ability, size and creativity, giving the little country the potential to upset history, to shake the Earth from its slumber and create something magnificent that we have never seen. Imagine these three giants roving and marauding, linking up and punishing defenders, slamming blistering shots that break a goalkeeper’s wrists. They are rarely, if ever, all on the pitch at the same time—Larsen is often used as the safety-valve sub for either Sørloth or Haaland when they need a breather—but if they did, you feel they could refashion the crust in whatever image they decide.
Traditionally, the way to win an international tournament was to prevent opposition goals first and then to have game-changers in the front, players who could combine to score goals, to break the laws of physics. There are only so many chances in front of goal in any given game and what happens in those moments foretells everything. This means that all the parts need to move in sync. It means the world needs to align and forces of nature need to mix and create the perfect environment. While Norway may not be the traditional powerhouse national team, it does have three mythical men leading the charge and that gives it a chance. The math is simple: Stay solid; don’t make mistakes; and find Haaland, Sørloth and Larsen near the opposition goal. It doesn’t feel pretty to write, but that doesn’t mean it’s not breathtaking to watch someone blast a shot into the roof of a net.
I have never seen a fjord in person. I have never been to Norway. I did have two Norwegian au pairs as a child, though, and they never told me about fjords, or maybe they did and I don’t remember. Until recently, the idea of a fjord escaped me—an inlet with depths that can reach deeper than the nearby ocean, with large steep walls created by a glacier—but I know fjords are real. I know if I stood on the edge of one, looking down, but I know I would hold my breath and wonder, I think, how the earth works, how the past meets the present, and how this place of ice and snow created something so beautiful.